I Can't Lose You
by PinkYaoi135
Summary: Dave is in love with his best bro who sadly doesn't reciprocate. Sadstuck, Smut, just trying to get back into the swing of things. might make an alternate ending.


**Warning: Smuts (but that's what you came here for) SADSTUCK (but it says so in the Summary)**

"Ngh! Dave… I-I'm so close!" a brunette boy beneath you cries out, your forehead is sweating as you pound into his lush ass. The blue eyed beauty is none other than your best bro John Egbert. His eyes are shut and a line of drool makes his chin shiny. You press your nose into the hollow of his neck and kiss softly drinking in the smell of him. His nails drag across your back they sting slightly. His walls are tight and warm on your cock. You are close too and breathing heavily onto his shoulder.

"Me too, John." You pant into his skin he suddenly tightens around you and he gasps his big blue eyes snapping open.

"D-Dave!" he gasps as he comes, and the pressure of his tightness on your sensitive dick causes you to follow close behind.

"John," you chant his name filling him up with your seed "John, beautiful, amazing hilarious gorgeous John… as you try to recover you hold him tightly whispering loving things to him. He doesn't respond. "John, I love you…John? John?"

You open your eyes and stare at your arms holding on to your pillow for your life, you move your leg and feel the cum soaked spot on your boxers.

Your name is Dave Strider and you just had another wet dream about your heterosexual best bro.

You reach for your shades and sit up in the morning light you feel a guilty twinge staring at the pillow you raped. Your door creaks open, and your bro peeks in. "Dave, do you want to talk?"

"… not really, I have to wash my mother fucking sheets again." You say pulling dejectedly on a corner of the bed sheets.

Your bro flash steps over to you and sits on the edge of the bed. "Dave, I know, I could hear you." He looks away for a moment "That's fine with me you know… you liking boys." You look at your brother. You want to say that it's not true that you totally love titties but you know you can't lie to him without serious repercussions.

"I know, it's not like I thought you'd care." You stand up and he helps you pull on the sheets until they are in a big ball and soon your clothes join them and your bro cradles it into a basket. The two of you begin to walk down to the laundry room in the basement under your apartment building. "It's him that cares; he's not raised in an open-minded home. If I just come onto him like 'yo I think you are the most gorgeous boy I've ever met, and you and I just work so well and I can't get you out of my head. Let's fuck.' He won't take it too well and my only real friendship is fucking ruined for life."

Your bro silently listens as he struts into the (Thank god) empty laundering facility. He lets you catch your breath before saying "I know how you feel." He shoves the sheets into the washing machine. "Sometimes you just have to decide whether your feelings are strong enough to go for it or will you try to fake yourself into thinking that you want something else…?"

You stare at him a moment and start to think he's talking from experience. "My advice would be to talk to him. Tell him what is going on, who knows, he may reciprocate." You scoff a bit.

"John's not a homosexual."

Bro shrugs, "The worst thing that can happen is he'll never talk to you again." He sighs and looks away "But Good friends will understand that you are a hormonal teen with bi-curious tendencies and some confusing feelings for your best friend."

You sit yourself up on the drier and listen to your bros solid advice. Silently you internalize his words and nod. "Could I just wait it out if it's a phase like that?"

"Do what you want but you're raping his image in his sleep I think he's got a right to know. When it beeps switch it to the dryer." He leaves a small pile of quarters on the counter. "I got to go to work, figure out what you're doing with your life my little homo." He leaves. You pull out your iPhone and wait for John to get online so you can ask him about staying over that weekend.

TG: John.

TG: John when you get online hit me up.

TG: don't know what the fuck you could be doing.

TG: last time I checked you didn't have a life.

You lock the screen of your phone and move down to the floor and watch the soap bubble up and spin in circles. While you try to remember the foggy images of John stored in your memory

Your phone alerts you to the fact that John is online.

EB: dude what's wrong?

EB: I was sleeping! It's only like 6 here

TG: oh shit man, nothing's really wrong.

TG: just wanted to know if I can sleep over this weekend.

EB: is it a long weekend?

TG: no

EB: Dave! That's a whole day flight!

TG: and?

EB: what about school?

TG: man fuck school, I'm already smarter than half the douches that go to my school, maybe in Washington school is important, but in Texas all they care about is Jesus and guns.

TG: please just ask your dad.

EB: ha-ha! Ok I'll ask.

TG: thank you.

EB: my dad says you're always welcome he's just wondering if your bro can afford a ticket.

TG: I'll stow away in a golf club bag if I have to. Don't worry about me.

EB: okay I won't, I guess I'll see you this weekend… why can't we just Skype?

TG: dude, I miss you, can't a bro miss a bro and fly for a whole day to go to his house to see him?

EB: nothing against the law. Sure I guess I miss you too.

TG: you guess? Ouch bro cold. Anyway yeah talk to you later doing laundry.

EB: Kay bye Dave!

TG: Bye John.

You put your phone down and take a deep breath. The laundry isn't done so you just sit with your back against it and play around on your phone looking for a plane ticket. You covertly watch the rare person come in to switch their unmentionables from machine to machine. You text your brother. "I bought a round trip ticket to Washington, I can go right?"

A few minutes later, "Course bro."

The buzz of the washer almost makes you piss yourself. You switch the sheets to the dryer and look at the newly cleaned pillow, "John, I…" you begin gazing at it suddenly you throw the pillow into the dryer with extra vehemence and press the buttons more forcefully than need be to start the cycle. You turn on your heel and head toward the elevator, you have to get packed you're going to Washington.

You Love the plane ride, you go to Johns over most spring and Fall breaks you two will switch off who stays where for a few weeks during summer last time he stayed with you. You sit on the plane with headphone on your ears and a note book in your lap, you tried to write a rap to John about your feelings but failed miserably so you're trying to distract yourself with some sick beats. Once you land in the colder state and deplane you stand staring off in a random direction John and his Dad usually pick you up. So you stand waiting with your small bag the thought of what needs to be said still weighing heavily on your mind.

"DAVE!" John spots you and shouts happily. He runs over and your heart skips a beat. He barrels into you and you feel every contour of his body, you don't remember noticing this kind of stuff before. As you greet them and follow them out to the car you are thankful for your shades allowing you to openly stare at John. On the drive home you chat about school and family. When you arrive at their house, they have dinner and afterwards John convinces you to watch a movie. You half focus on the movie and half focus on the intent boy to your left. Once the movie is over John's Dad announces that he will be going to bed.

"Oh, What time is your flight tomorrow Dave?" He asks

"Ten… PM but I don't mind when you drop me off I can chill at the airport for a few hours," you reply quietly.

"That is quite alright so just be awake when it's time to go, boys." He says then marches off to bed.

"Your dad is cool." You say.

"No Dave, he just likes you, He thinks you and your bro are Manly." John shakes his head full of dark messy hair, "Says I should be more like you." He brightens up. "Want to play video Games?" He asks cheerily.

"Actually…" you contemplate bringing up the topic of what needs to be said but looking at his inquisitive expression you instead say, "I'm going to kick your ass, pick a game."

In those moments of innocent gaming you remember why you are best friends, but you can also tell why you love him so much, the way his voice gets higher when he's losing, the way his hands mash the buttons forcefully, and when the tip of his tongue peeks out from between his lips in determination.

Hours later John is tired and you are on edge. You don't think you will ever be able to bring up the subject if you don't do it now. Your heart is beating against your chest but John suggests that the two of should change into your PJs and get ready to sleep. You pull your sweat pants from your bag and begin to strip. As hard as you try, you still catch the image of John changing beside you. His soft, tanless, freckleless skin rumples slightly as he searches for his clothes in only his ghost underwear that hug his ass tightly but don't quite cover it all the way. You force yourself to look away your face heating up and your mind wandering shamefully. You sit on the ground after you've changed, resolved to bring it up once he was dressed you recite what you want to say to him. He sits next to you and yawns you look over, he's only wearing his pajama pants you swallow hard and ask, "Aren't you going to wear a shirt?"

"Well, duh dude!" he says pulling a blue shirt over his head. You hide your slight disappointment with a stony glare behind your shades. "Are you tired?" he asks

"Not really." You're bracing yourself to finally talk about it.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" he asks reaching for his collection.

"Not really."

"What do you want to do?" he says mildly agitated.

You look right at him. "I'm just going through some stuff right now and it would be really great if I could talk to my best bro about it."

He scoots in front of you and takes off his glasses smiling, "Of course man, what's wrong? I knew something was up."

"Alright, I really like this person and I don't think that they will ever like me back, even though I'm absolutely head over heels for them and we make a great match." You decide to be straight forward with it.

"Why not then? What person in their right mind wouldn't like the awesome Cool kid Dave Strider?" he asks with a giggle that busts straight into your heart.

"Well," you swallow hard again, you've gotten used to living with your emotions hidden but this threatens to break your façade. "I know why…" you pull your shades off your face and set them on your head. John is intent, he honestly wants to help you, "It's because, well, he's not a Homosexual."

John sits back a bit and giggles a little, "I had no idea, always thought you were a tit-man." He falters slightly when he notices your serious expression. "So… who is the lucky guy?" John asks trying to get back on topic and not wanting to hurt your feelings. "Do I know him?"

"Yeah," you breathe out slowly." You know him pretty well."

John perks up "Oh? Is it… uh" He sits thinking and goes through the list of guys that he knows coming up with a blank "Who is it Dave?" he finally says.

"… It's you John." He freezes blue eyes wide. "Look, I'm sorry, I know bros aren't supposed to think about bros like that but I don't have anything gentle in my life… except you. The only reason I feel like I have to tell you is because I've been dreaming of you and it felt unfair to just keep pretending like nothing was different." You can feel your chest tightening his expression hasn't changed. "We work well together. You bring out the best in me. I need you. I love you John." He relaxes a bit and looks down the initial shock fading away. "John, please just hear me out. I'm not going to insist that we go out or anything like that, but you needed to know. I might just be a hormonal teen with bi-curious tendencies and some confusing feelings for my best friend. But either way I can't lose you. I –"

John's hand comes up in a gesture to stop, you obey. "Dave. You are my best friend and I love you too…" you heart swells with a bit of hope. "Just, not… like that." Your chest deflates and you feel like you might throw up but you continue to listen you bring your shades over your eyes again. "See, my dad wants me to get married and have kids." You nod you understood that this was most likely going to be his answer. "I… don't know what to do. I just know I like girls. And-"

It is your turn to stop him. Your throat is tight and your nose is stinging a bit. You force yourself not to cry.

Striders do not cry.

"I know…" you bring yourself closer to his face. You know that your relationship can only be in your dreams. But still… "John? Can I kiss you? Please? It doesn't have to mean anything." you can see him thinking about it; see the emotions flicker across his face. You pray that he can't tell that your hands are shaking and you swallow the lump in your throat. You edge closer hoping he'll say yes.

A red tint is stretched across his cheeks and his eyebrows are knitted together with insecurity. "It won't mean anything?"

"Not unless you change your mind." You say your lips mere inches from his. He closes his eyes and nods slightly. You press your lips against his chastely they are warm and slightly chapped. Your wavering hands go up to his face and cup his cheeks to keep him from going anywhere. You part your lips against his stiff ones and run your tongue along his lower lip. He hesitates but then opens his mouth slightly. You press your tongue against his softly holding him as tight as you dare he only minimally pulls away from you. Your eyes can't contain the emotion you've been trying to hide. You decide that there is little point in torturing yourself anymore. You pull away from his lips and hug him tightly pressing your nose into his neck and memorizing the smell. "I'm sorry John" you try to keep your voice from cracking "I'm so sorry."

"Let's go to sleep okay?" he says and emphasizes his sentence with a yawn. You nod feebly. "Do you want to sleep on the bed?" John asks.

"floor." You choke out lying down on the bare floor. He flicks off the light and crawls onto his bed. He drapes a blanket down to you awkwardly. He is silent. You are choking back tears. You clear your throat and say "I love you John, goodnight." This is what you two normally say to each other but he takes extra-long to reply and you try to stifle a sniff.

"Night Dave…" he says from his position above you, from far away.

You roll away from him and take your shades off saltwater dripping down your nose. You open your phone and text your Bro.

"He doesn't reciprocate and why am I crying bro I knew he wouldn't."

He replies in a few moments, "You are allowed to cry."

"I love him so much bro…"

"I know kid, get some sleep though."

You attempt to stifle your sobs and mop up your tears with the blanket he gave you after what feels like hours you are calm enough to simply listen to his steady breathing. You resolve to simply be his best friend… for as long as you can.

**Sorry for the sadness but would you be interested in an alternate ending where Egderp can't resist the Strider.**


End file.
